Why I Stuffed my Boyfriend’s Body in the Trunk of My Car

1996 teal chevrolet cavalier trunk Red Velvet Voyage Why I stuffed my boyfriend into the trunk of my car
As a travel addict you will do anything to get to your final destination

This is the tale of my first desperate act in the name of travel addiction…

Ok, you caught me… I did it!  I stuffed the body of my 6′-10″ tall dark & handsome boyfriend into the trunk of my car.  So what?  I mean really, Haven’t you wanted to put your significant other in the trunk before?… locked up, no escaping… in control.  Bye-Bye Boyfriend.  And honestly I didn’t get into that much trouble.  I almost got kicked out of my Private-All-Girl-Baptist-College.  I had to go before the Board of Directors, the Student Council – and believe me that Student President was more like Student PrudaBitch! Dealing with her was the worst part of the entire incident.  I had to write a freaking essay about “How I am not Above the Law.”  I actually had to rewrite it a second time because they didn’t think my first attempt was sincere enough.  I spent endless hours serving community service with the head janitor and we pretty much just sat around shooting the shit and smoking cigarettes… And to top it off my boyfriend still loved me after it was all said and done!

In 1999, at 20 years old I decided I was bored of my home town of Disgusta, Georgia.  Time to move on to the Big World, go away to college and begin my Big Girl Life.  I had already been living on my own since age 16 because I couldn’t deal with parental authority {to my entire family: my sincerest apologize for my teenage rebellion}.  And for the past year and a half had been living-in-sin with my tall dark and handsome boyfriend.  We concurred that Raleigh, North Carolina was the place for our new beginning because the said Private-All-Girl-Baptist-College, had a great program to support my major in Interior Design.   Together we packed up our measly belongings & my precious kitty-cat in a U-Haul Truck & we left our hometown together in search of a better life.

Living in Raleigh, NC I worked as a waitress to put myself through college and pay the bills.  I worked at this 12-table tiny brand new Sushi restaurant called Sushi Blues Cafe that was open until 2 am  – go eat there if you are ever in Raleigh & tell Qui I said “Hello!”  Great Late Night Sushi… I had many a sake-bomb with the customers… but don’t tell Qui that, cause I was constantly in trouble for drinking on the job! http://sushibluescafe.com/

Here I am, 20 years old waitressing my way through college in my freetime and working in the school offices by day with a full-class-schedule at the All-Girl-Baptist-College seeing these privileged Daddy’s girls come to class in their pajamas and fuzzy slippers.  At least throw on some damn jeans! And brush your hair!  Mascara…maybe? Talk about getting ready for the real world?!?!?!

My Partner-In-Crime is a fellow waitress at the Sushi restaurant, Jasmine.   Hated her at first: gorgeous know-it-all, hot asian chick…you know the type… but then and still today, 14 years later, Still my BFF!  So she is dating this wild European-type from The Czech-Republic. He is sexy, fun, and we can barely understand a damn word he says.  But at 20 years old, who cares?  He’s hot, European & has money to travel! This particular night at work, probably a sake-bomb or three or four… she lets me in on her TRAVEL PLANS… She is going to Miami Beach this weekend with her Czech hottie… AND she wants me & my boyfriend to join!

 ————- Enter my first Travel Addiction Itch! ————-

At this point in my life, I had never been to Miami Beach, let alone any city in the world on my own without my mom! Late-Night opulent Night clubs, swanky-decor Lounges, the original Nikki Beach….say no more!  I knew that THIS was an invitation not to miss! We were pulling about $200 a night waiting our asses off hustling tables, so I had enough $aved up. A lover of surprising people, I told her that I certainly couldn’t join her in Miami.  Secretly I knew that I was about to get my Travel Fix on raging in MIAMI for a Weekend Vacation Getaway!

I got off work around 11:30 pm; drove home in my busted teal 1994 Chevrolet Cavalier, a high-school graduation present, the one with duck tape holding the front headlight on.  It was deemed “Totaled” after I slowly rolled into the back of a car going 3 miles per hour during a rainy day.   Back at home, I announce in an enthusiastic frenzy to my boyfriend about the possibility of partying in Miami for the weekend.  He, also suffering with travel addiction, was all in! We gotta buy our flights NOW! Being the starving college student that I was, I didn’t own a personal computer in my tiny apartment. There were however, oh yes, student computer labs on campus at my said  Private-All-Girl-Baptist-College. We have to go there, now, go online and buy our tickets!  That was back when you could bid on Price-Line, talking about the old-school site you could pick your price, and buy tickets, not knowing exactly what time you would depart or arrive. You just picked a price and it would instantly book you on the cheapest most inconveniently timed flight!

It’s about ten after midnight when we arrive to my college campus.  I’m driving my beloved, busted Chevy with my boyfriend in the passenger seat.  To get on campus, you have to pass the gate guard, who sees my boyfriend in the passenger seat and tells me, “I’m sorry young-lady, but there are no males allowed on campus after eleven pm. I cannot let you two on campus.”

I look at him, thinking… that’s so stupid. What moronic era am I living in? I smile like an innocent young Baptist girl and say, “I just want to use a computer for my essay project that’s due tomorrow. I just need to print it and will only be a second. Are you sure I can’t for just a minute?”

Sternly he looks at me and says, “No ma’am, Rules are rules.”

I drive off extremely disappointed not sure how to  obtain these airline tickets to my dream vacation in the warm sun of Miami. I’m struck with a sickness, that if I don’t buy them right know they might all be gone tomorrow.  The symptoms are readily apparent, Travel Addiction and a touch of my uncontrollable erratic impulsiveness.

I pull into the parking lot of a diner across from campus.  I stop the car. I look at my boyfriend and tell him, “We are going to Miami. You are coming with me to buy these airline tickets. You have to get in the trunk!”

Like a deer caught in headlights, he stares at me trying to see if I’m serious. Oh yeah… serious as a heart-attack!  “If you wanna go to Miami, get in the trunk.  I’ll let you out, I promise!  Come in with me. It’ll be fun!”  He climbs in.  Feeling gangsta, I giggle as I confine him into the darkness of my Cavalier’s rear.

I drive back through the guard gate, smile as he lets me in, “Thank You I really have to finish my paper!”

I park the Chevy, still in a fit of laughter as my tall boyfriend struggles to climb out of the compact trunk.  We go inside & after less than an hour online we have in our possession – airline tickets to sunny extravagant Miami Florida, I’m in MIAMI BITCH!…. oh Yeah!!!!

Oh No!!! Literally as we are walking out the door, this other security guard catches us and is very not happy. Asks me all these questions, takes my name, I apologize and explain about my important paper and my boyfriend is a specialist on the topic and really needed him. We drive off, I don’t care, my travel addiction was tamed AND we are going to MIAMI!

The trip to Miami is one that I will remember for ever!  Jasmine & I still laugh about it today.  She was so happy when I popped up at her hotel room that she started crying with excitement! It was one of my earliest spontaneous travels that was just the beginning!  I had to deal with a lot of BS upon my arrival, but every Travel has its Price!

Like foodies, there are tell-tale signs you are a travel addict: you talk about your next distant fix while you are already in an exotic destination; you book another trip as soon as you return from one; your Bucket List keeps getting longer instead of shorter; you only date international airlines flight attendants (Okay maybe just me?); you visibly shake at the sight of a map; you always carry your passport — even at home; your Skype contacts list looks like the UN’s phone book; your idea of art on your walls is thumb-tacking postcards; you can give tourists directions in places you are actually visiting; and finally, you know you are a travel addict when you accept the need for an intervention — as long as rehab on another continent is the first-step!

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-d-chalmers/a-travel-addicts-index-to_b_4603803.html

 

Dear boyfriend – That was an amazing trip & please know that you will always always always have a special place in my heart… and even in my trunk!!! XOXO 

 

What’s the craziest thing you have ever done to arrive at your final destination?

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